#admittedly I was much more into SOT and still am

[testabooger]

Played TFBW! The other coon/call girl art I've done linked here

alt versions under the cut!

[wintergrew]

you are an absolute God at worldbuilding. Share us your tips !! <3

Omg I definitely don't know about that, but thank you so much for the compliment 😭

I presume you are referring to my SoT stuff, in which case.....

To start, I based it heavily off of the European Middle Ages. With HUGE liberties because it's still a fantasy world, but I am a history nerd and my background is political science, so I was really interested in grounding it in that, culturally and politically. The Thief and Mage are very political because... I'm very political

Before I started writing (though largely out of pure interest), I watched countless hours of YouTube documentaries I could find, watched more informational videos on things like historical fashion (which i already did, but specific that era), read A Brief History of Life in the Middle Ages by Martyn Whittock, and listened to three The Great Courses lectures on The Early/High/Late Middle Ages by Philip Daileader.

A lot of it was for fun because I'm a nerd, but I picked and chose what I wanted for my version of Zaron. Keep the concept of serfdom in farming, the village and city structures, and random daily life things. Take inspiration but change things like the way feudalist structures and manors work. Cut Christianity (or blatant equivalent like in Dragon Age) and therefore a lot of the church and religious orders that were a huge, huge aspect of the era.

Research also had me stumble upon the year 536. That alone greatly shaped the landscape and setting of The Mage.

Kupa is mostly inspired by Great Britain. However places like Neunbruck are aesthetically me stealing from the Bavarian/Swiss Alps aesthetic (and not necessarily middle ages) while the Southern Kingdom is basically Malta because...I think both of them are really pretty. Aesthetically, the Dark Kingdom takes from Romania and Iceland. It's more aesthetic than me doing deep research though. Like, literally just "damn this small island county is gorgeous, I need it for my story" and working around that. I also did some (but admittedly far less) research into Celts (especially the Picts) and Germanic Tribes of Antiquity for Barbarians.

The game KOTOR was a big inspiration, and by extension as is all of Star Wars. I looked up how to write magic systems and saw a lot of advice on avoiding "soft" magic systems...but did a soft magic system anyway. Admittedly, I should have had stricter rules and guidelines on how magic can be used and it probably is one of the weaker/inconsistent aspects where I was basically was just "it's like the Force". Recent chapters hopefully show why I went that vague route but....Either way, I wish I did make myself a formal guide to magic at the start, so maybe don't be like me and please do that.

I realize now after writing this I've mostly talked on and on about myself and this might not be helpful at all. But i guess a takeaway is:

Do research! You don't have to use everything, but it can really be huge inspiration. If you're writing space scifi, watch space documentaries. If you're writing about the 19th century, look up various fiction and nonfiction about the era. Research the history of and consume media about vampires/werewolves/whatever you're focusing on. You don't have to be as insane as me, though.

Other unrelated media also helps. Songs/Playlists, franchises, art, stories you like. Read and consume as much as you can and absorb what you like.

A lot of it is subconscious daydreaming to me. So listening to stuff in the background I'm kinda just "oh wouldn't it be cool if xx?" instead of sitting down and intentionally mapping things out before i have an idea. Story bibles and outlines help after to organize my thoughts, but I don't force myself to stick to them 100%. I had the central story and plot points to The Assassin long before I had the whole second act of The Mage figured out.

Not sure if this is helpful and it might actually showcase how messy my worldbuilding truly is fhghhh but thanks again

[tmisaccidentreportbook]

MAG013, Alone

Case #0161301, Naomi Herne Release date: April 21, 2016 First listen: 15th October. Think it was on the walk into work.

OK, straight off the bat, this being a live recording gives us a more accurate idea of the date in universe. The statement was given January and releases April, so the delay from events occurring to us hearing about them has dropped from about a year to a few months.  

- The addition of a new voice threw me I won’t lie. And this may be harsh, and I’m sure she is a talented soul, but I didn’t really vibe with her delivery and in my opinion, Jonny was acting her out of the room when he was speaking. Her delivery just felt a little… detached? A little by rote to me? To be fair, I don’t know how long she had with the script before recording. But I like the fact that we get a new voice for the introduction of The Lonely, seems suitably ironic.

- The series long bit of sassing the equipment. I would like the Archivist to know, that I personally would be charmed, as someone who still owns and uses a filofax.

- I’d like to know, what prompted the Archivist to take this statement in person. He mentions in MAG011 Dreamer that he wants to hear about anyone coming in predicting his death or anything along similar lines, but this does not concern him in any direct way. Admittedly, she does ask hm to remain for the statement giving, but why not have her leave a written statement like anyone else coming to the Institute? Why’d she get special treatment? Is it the connection to the Lukas family? ‘Connection’ being an odd word choice seeing as they’ve seemed in one more claim her and ignore her. The Lonely’s a capricious beast.

- I won’t make any excuses, I don’t like Ms Herne. I do not care for her attitude. Yes, grief can and does alter a person’s behaviour and their rational thinking, but she sounds like a brat. She’s scoffing at everything the Institute is, everything the Archivist is, but she’s still expecting to be believed and supported. She feels she has the right to ask for the Archivist’s company and support after she’s spoken to him so. As she says, she’s desperate but she still has the gall to be so scornful.

- Lukas! The first mention of the Lukas Dynasty. The power behind the Watcher’s Crown… Kinda… The coin any how. Jonah somehow bestowed the hereditary title of ‘Sugar daddy’ on the Lukas family, the canny bastard.

- ‘...but I was distraught. I still am.’ Why do I feel like she’s reading a script? I mean, ok, literally the actress is reading a script, but I get the impression Naomi may not understand exactly what she’s feeling but is consulting some unknown human interactions manual and going, ‘yes, distraught, that   seems like an appropriate response.’ It feels like a mask being pulled on without the person wearing it either committing to the character or full aware that it is a guise, but somehow lost between the two.

- ‘...to be bullied you need to be noticed’. … Well, isn’t that an uncomfortably familiar mood.

- ‘...maybe happier isn’t quite the right word.’ No, but I get it. It’s a contentment, hot through with melancholy, like a seam of silver through rock.

- ‘I didn’t need other people and they certainly didn’t need me.’ *deep breath* … God, OK, here we go. Right, if you don’t want personal introspection, skip to the next bullet point. On the first go around, I imprinted hard on Martin and when I told dodgylogic so, there were some concerned noises. And it only got more acute as the series went on, as we saw more of Martin and his relationships with the other characters and The Lonely. People like to talk about which Entity they’d serve or which domain they’d fall pray to. I think I’m caught somewhere between The Lonely and The Desolation, between the burn out and the break down. A sot blackened light house. But like Martin, I’ve spent so much of my life setting myself on fire to keep others warm. I think it’s a family trait. But going to Uni was a bit of a wake up and a shock. Primary school, I’d gone somewhat unnoticed by my peers, same at secondary and my teachers only really noticed what I’d accomplished quietly as I was leaving. But to so many of my peers, I wasn’t a friend, I was a resource. I was a work horse that was brought out for the heavy lifting and long hours but never really for the gymkhanas or shows. I used to say of myself I was a Clydesdale amongst show ponies. There’s several instances I can name where my chest went hollow, because it’s not even a case of being ignored or missed. It’s being seen and passed over, and it being known you will weather it without a word. But Uni was different. I wasn’t expected to burn myself for anyone else, and when people asked after me and meant it genuinely, it was only then that I realised how scorched I was. Long story short, The Lonely fucks me up fam. When I finally seek counselling, I am handing over this blog and my AO3 profile.

- OK, after all that I’m going to the gym for a bit.

- ‘...the children were a thick, entitled lot.’ … Ma’am, with the way you are conducting yourself, pot calling kettle much.

- ‘(The relationship) never seemed like his being there stopped me being myself, or crossed into spaces that I saw as my own.’ Right, so as previously mentioned, I suspect myself as being somewhere on the aroace spectrum. And a big component of that is the idea of someone else’s happiness and well being being dependant on me and my actions is something I find terrifying. For multiple reasons, but there’s also a significant amount of self preservation at work, see previous introspective out pouring above. Might the situation change if I was in a situation where I felt confident I would not lose myself? Maybe?

- The way Naomi rattles through the event of his death is telling but of what, I’m not quiet sure. I think it indicated she hasn’t processed it and is still mentally stuck in March of 2015. The fact that it’s Evan’s heart that gave out, is that anything? Especially when you consider that Gerard died of a brain tumour. The Lonely, preying on sentiment and emotion fears. The Eye, being a more cerebral fear, more analytical?

- Evan describing his family as ‘very religious’. Religion, well Christianity, gets mentioned a few times. Her mother’s Methodist faith, a Pastor counselling her. Seems all the more cruel when it’s a chapel building she finds herself lost at, but I supposed you don’t really find many grave yards without a church building of some kind or another in the Kent countryside. The fact that the piece of masonry she kept hold of and was her anchor was engraved with a cross. I wonder if Naomi turned to religion after this statement giving, if The Lonely hadn’t already claimed her? Became part of a lock for community?

- ‘I’d never met or visited them, or even been told their names, as far as I remember’…. You were engaged… If he hadn’t completely cut himself off, then I think that’s a bit of a telling red flag. If he had cut himself off completely from the family, that just makes the fact that they completely reclaimed him in death all the more sad.

- ‘But they must have known me enough to invite me.’ I doubt Evan would have mentioned her, if he was distancing himself from the family, I imagine the last thing he wanted to do was draw his family’s attention to Naomi. I can only assume that she had already touched by The Lonely, the same way Avatar’s have found folks despite not having addresses or other contact information.

- ‘Moorland House’. Nothing quiet says bleak and imposing like moorland. Wide open wild places, subject to a climate all their own and oh so very easy to get lost on. Also put me in mind of the Moors Murderers, who used Saddleworth Moor to dispose of their child murder victim, one grave has still not been found after 60 years.

- The storm that hit the UK at the end of March 2015 was Storm Katie, sharing a name with Naomi’s actress.

- ‘I don’t know what I expected from Evan’s father.’ We don’t get any confirmation that Peter is Evan’s father, do we? We certainly don’t get name here and I can’t remember it being mentioned. I don’t think we ever get mention of Evan again come to think of it.

- ‘I felt guilty enough about his death, though I have no idea why.’ She has no reason to be, she’s no medical professional, but I imagine guilt and wanting to avoid others because of that guilt is another wedge The Lonely would use.

- She says ‘coffin’ and ‘casket’ interchangeably, oh no. There’s a difference I promise you. Let Caitlin Doughty tell you more.

- And while I’m on Caitlin’s channel, I want to link another video. Naomi’s realisation and description of how in death and back under the control of his family, he’d become ‘alien to the life that had he had created for himself’. The family was reclaiming Evan but force in death, and that made me incredibly sad. It reminded me of a video Caitlin made about protecting a person’s identify in dead, specifically a trans person’s identify, which may be contested by next of kin, and as next of kin, they have all the legal say. But there are ways to stop that from happening.

- Have I linked 3 Caitlin Doughty videos in the last 2 submissions? Yes, yes I have. She does good work.

- The loss of the track of time is something to be expected with grief and also when you get too close to any of The Entities really.

- Y’know, for devote followers of the manifestation of isolation and loneliness, there seem to be a fuck tonne of Lukas’. ‘Dozens of black-clad figures.’ If anything, having large families just to ignore an isolate themselves and each other is all the more fucked up.

- Losing the phone, cutting off any semblance of connections, even non tangible, indirect ones.

- And the fog comes rolling in. The use of fog is very Gothic and very effective. Obscuring, smothering. You could be yards from salvation and never know it if the very air around you obscures and silences it.

- ‘I realised afterwards that the night should have been far too dark to see the fog.’ I remember thinking that too, especially after she got out of the wrecked car. Also, sunset on Monday 30th of March was around 7:46pm, so it may not have been dark when she arrived, but depend how long she was at Moorland House, it may have been dark when she left... It’s amazing what you can find on the internet.

- ‘Even here among the dead, I was alone.’ Ooof, what a line. And we’ve all heard it before, haven’t we. ‘Everyone dies alone.’ And while there may be a truth to it being a solitary action, no one should die lonely.

- ‘Through that door, where the inside of the chapel should be, was a field’. Oh we ain’t in Kansas any more Toto. As the scene progresses, I start to feel a little but of The Spiral at the edges, and The Buried dragging from beneath. Naomi talks of feeling dragged towards the graves, of the fog push and pulling.

- ‘I heard Evan’s voice call to me. He said, “Turn left”.’ This is a reach, literally, but this little moment reminded me of a scene in the first Critical Role campaign. Vax’ildan, my sweet goth bi bird son, had just gotten expelled out of a wound in the flank of a black dragon in flight… As you do, it was a Tuesday for Vox Machina. But as he’s falling, he prays to the Raven Queen, Goddess of Death, to whom he’d traded his service to save his sister’s life. He’s falling, he accepts his role as her champion and she buys him enough time and a whisper instruction of ‘Left’ for him to reach out and save himself. Something beyond the veil telling you to keep going.

- ‘Some time with a more… qualified care professional might also prove helpful.’ Whether he believes you or not Ms. Herne, that is solid advice. Go get psychological help.

- ‘All requests to the Lukas family for information or interviews have been very firmly rebuffed.’ I imagine they were but I also wonder how long it took Peter to steel himself to contact Elias directly and say ‘you need to rein your new man in, ok.’

- ‘The only text that can be made out simply reads “forgotten”.’ And that’s the real death isn’t it? Being forgotten. And I think The Lonely works best when it knows it can leave you forgotten yet you’re still breathing.

- Like I’ve said, if any of The Entities have their claws in me, it’s probably The Lonely. Which is why I refuse to forget, I refuse to be forgotten. “No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away...” GNU Sir Terry Pratchett.

[rhapsody-crossing]

Memories of Oceanink Series (Season 3) - Part 1

Wanna to eternalize some good Splatoon 2 memories here:

0. Characters 

- Main Team

Furidm - Slayer of t!slots. Despite her new job, she is able to play Splatoon 2 on-and-off. She still carries her brand of fierceness in her splats, and remains the experienced, strongest front-liner. Could flex between short range and mid range; mains Octobrush but also plays NZap and Clash Blaster, also picks up Kensa Splattershot Pro along the way.

sotsot - Everyman of t!slots. His willingness to learn and adapt to the team is worth the respect. Also helps manage scrims with XGB. Mains Octobrush, but picks up Splattershot and Tri Slosher along the journey.

Bibu - Mid-liner of t!slots. A calm surface with a hidden ferocious depth, she will punish anyone with her Kensa Sloshing Machine. Is also an active farmer in Stardew Valley.

Lea - t!slots emergency sub. A retired skilled player who now uses Bloblobber and Dualies Squelcher. Prefers to save the world with a keyblade, traveling twisty caverns as a Hollow Knight and raises units in Dragalia Lost.

And then, there’s me. I am the backliner and acting captain of t!slots. I main Custom Hydra, and is also in charge of managing scrims and scheduling matches. Mother Hen of the group.

- Supporting 

DonkeyBen - The original captain of t!slots. The calling of other world for a hero is too enticing, but personal issues have kept him from playing. Mains Dynamo Roller.

arlang - an eager participant of t!slots, but life commitments prevented her from playing too often. She fills in for scrims and participate in league sometimes. 

Kuniki - Part of t!slots, but main allegiance with Nameless. Nevertheless, he watches over t!slots like a good papa and trained with us often. Also t!slots artist.

BK - A member of VerniySefaro who has a disregard for team allegiances and helped out a lot. A good comrade of t!slots.

0. Brief History

It all started when two Malaysia teams joined an online Splatoon 2 tournament held for SEAs, only to had their butts kicked badly. 

After a bout of pity party, both teams were determined to grow stronger for the sake of Malaysia and registered for Oceanink Series that had just recently started. They formed a team named Knife and Banana. However, despite being a team of ten, life commitments has reduced active participants to five, but it was okay. The team managed quite decently.

Time flew, by the time season 2 rolled around, Splatoon Malaysia Community itself has organised two Splatoon 2 tournaments (in which my experience for both tourneys can be found here and here). As such, new Knife and Banana had a change of members that are from different Malaysia teams. Nevertheless, said team made itself well-known for putting up a tough fight, but they never really got to top 3.

When Season 3 came, Knife and Banana was fractured into different teams. A majority of members formed a new team named VerniySefaro. Two ex-members decided to participate as their local team XGB. One ex-member became part of the Nameless family. One ex-member entered with t!slots.

This story focuses on that ex-member that participated with t!slots.

1. How I got roped into This

Approximately two months ago, Kuniki came to me with the “bright idea” of merging or setting an alliance with DoTS, a team he helped nurtured and babied. 

I call this “bright idea” because Kuniki’s part of Nameless, and while his heart is often always from the right side (by wanting us to be active and happy, and to celebrate the community he’s building), he pretty much wants the remaining active Tofu members, Furi and I, to babysitguide his childrenfriends when he couldn’t.

Admittedly, I was at a limbo on my Splatoon 2 life, on the verge of quitting competitive to focus towards other area of life (more specifically reading and writing). Few personal issues cropped up, which led me to being in a bad head-space of not being ready to welcome new people into my life. Kuniki’s intrusion wasn’t welcome, but it was something I knew I needed... But I still wasn’t ready, so I let others decide what they want. The alliance will be named t!slots? Sure. The team captain for this alliance will be Bibu? Okay. We’re participating Oceanink series season 3? Right. Wednesday and Friday will be training day? Cool.

I really wasn’t invested, because I felt my role was more of a “Just In Case”, a sub. DoTS is a young team filled with passionate and close-knitted members: Captain DonkeyBen, arlang, sotsot and Bibu. They are raised by several other veterans (like Kuniki, BK, members from XGB...), so what need do they have for two other “vets” who are kinda taking a break? I’d learned from KnB Oceanink season 2 that it’s kinda difficult for different teams to get together due to team pride. So it’s best that Tofu should just intervene minimally, DoTS will get by Oceanink season 3 just fine.

As season 3 date loomed, Kuniki asked me to watch over t!slots again; DonkeyBen was losing interest in Splatoon 2 due to other commitments, and arlang would not be able play often due to her work exchange in Taiwan. In short, Furi and I will have to participate as active members. I thought he was joking, like maybe it was just his way of babying the team, but when Oceanink Seeding came, the deterioration of DBen’s interest in Splatoon 2 can be felt via voice chat. 

Meanwhile, arlang shared her adventures in Taiwan and was both excited for Oceanink but apologetic because of the lack of time to join. Sotsot and Bibu on the other hand were pumped for Oceanink; the former wanted to know everything about it, and the latter focused on ranking to brush up her skills for upcoming matches.

My elder brother once told me that he’d preferred to work with younger, passionate people of his working field for their enthusiasm and energy; looking at DoTS, I could relate to his words. 

Which is why I decided to support them a little.

2. Bonding with DoTS

There were plenty of opportunity to bond with DoTS:

a) ComicFiesta was the first time Furi and I got acquaint with majority of DoTS members (DBen missing) with Kuniki’s assistance.

b) Small Christmas Gathering, when DBen came back from his overseas studies. With the help of BK (who happened to visit KL for work), Furi and I managed to get acquainted.

c) Post-Penang Trip, when I had a quick lunch with DBen and Sot before DBen travels back to Johor via bus.

d) Ma La Food, in which Furi, sot, arlang, and I tried to satisfy Kuniki’s cravings for Ma La.

e) Splatoon Community Gathering, in which DoTS, Tofu and BK had hotpot for dinner after the gathering.

Each time, it gets easier to be comfortable in their presence.

KnB in Oceanink season 2 has haunted me in some ways, for all I remembered was having to maintain peace between teams; knowing that Furi and I would be working with sot and Bibu, I was determine to make it work by getting to know them and removing any boundaries between teams. It helped that BK and Kuniki were here to facilitate things.

Soon, the brackets were released and week 1 of Oceanink descended upon us.

See Part 2 HERE.

[vapaus-ystavyys-tasaarvo]

Revenge Sandwich week four (part 2)

XXXIV An Apparition

I do like the early 19th century tourism stuff just for how both similar and different it is to now.

And OF COURSE Franz runs into Edmond AGAIN.

‘Pardieu!’ said the man in the cloak, in French.

Yeah, you always end up slipping back into your native language every now and then... (Okay I actually don’t know if Edmond’s native language IS French though. But I’m guessing that if not then he learned French early enough that it counts?)

it did not prevent Albert from dressing up outrageously every time he went to the opera with Franz -- a wasted effort; for, it must be admitted to the shame of one of the most deserving representatives of French fashion, in the four months during which he had travelled the length and breadth of Italy, Albert had not had a single romantic adventure.

He sometimes tried to joke about this, but underneath he was deeply mortified.

Pffft. Oh, Albert

- New nobility -- another thing to note. I mean, I think I already mentioned how this book is very tied to this specific point in time? This is July Monarchy era, France had a “bourgeois king”. It’s that weird intersection between the ancien régime and capitalism.

- Also it’s becoming pretty clear that Albert is very used to getting his way and he’s just not going to give up on the carriage thing. His parents might have been poor fishermen from a small village but he’s been raised as a viscount in Paris...

- I love how the theatre audience basically watch the opera like a lot of people watch TV. Just keep talking and only occasionally pay attention when something interesting happens.

- More exotization but this time with Italian women... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

‘On the occasion of a walk in the Colosseum very much like the one we took together.’

‘By moonlight?’

‘Yes.’

‘Alone?’

‘Almost.’

‘And you spoke of...’

‘The dead.’

Very Romantic.

‘I don’t like brunettes who sing blonde.’

.... okay???

Albert what

- We have the text itself compare Edmond to a vampire! x) Now he’s basically a horror story monster as far as the narrative is concerned.

- I got confused as to where Franz managed to leave Albert in the middle of the discussion with the countess tho. I mean... wasn’t the whole point to introduce Albert to the countess?? Buuuut then they just sort of forget about him?

- Also Albert should maybe shut up about women please.

‘(...) a little pale, admittedly, but of course pallor is a mark of distinction.’

Franz smiled. Albert had pretensions to looking pale.

Aww. :p

Of course he noticed nothing weird about Edmond though. He’s clearly playing the role of the clueless friend in the horror story... even though ironically the monster is after his father but it’s Franz who’s the one getting the ominous premonitions.

‘Well, I’ve had a wonderful idea.’

Franz gave Albert the look of someone who did not have much confidence in his ideas.

These two are going to be endlessly entertaining aren’t they?

‘No, Excellency. I have an understanding with the bill-poster and he brings these to me as he does the advertisements for entertainments, so that if any of my guests wish to watch the execution, they can be fully informed.’

‘How very thoughtful!’ Franz exclaimed.

Dx

UNSURPRISINGLY I’m really not a fan of the executions as entertainment shit... I mean I don’t know what Dumas’s own view on this was although I kind of get the feeling that he wasn’t a fan either? 

Oh well, finally we get a proper meeting with the Count though!

At this point I made a note about how Edmond insists on all this opulence and exotism. I mean compare this to Valjean... Okay Valjean didn’t have this much money, yes, but he did have enough that he could have lived more comfortably than he did in Montreuil-sur-Mer.

The man who had just entered was none other than the cloaked figure in the Colosseum, the stranger in the box at the theatre and his mysterious host on the island of Monte Cristo.

Of course.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW10

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

N/A

I'm saving. It looks fucking ugly on paper, but I don't want to take a hit and I should be able to get 11 out even with the Kane injury. It's not a good eleven, mind, but it's something. I don't want to do anything drastic by jerking in Arsenal player(s) when they have those shit fixtures after Swansea. Poch lies, so I have truly no faith that Kane will make it back for Palace, but with the lack of obvious alternatives I'm going to just hold steady. I also have extremely good defensive fixtures next week which would help cover if he is out again. A problem, or potential problem, for another day.

GK:

Bob Elliot, aka the best value goalkeeper in the game, goes this weekend. I have already begun bracing myself for his 2 pointer off 0 saves and 1 goal conceded to get outscored by Foster who will probably make about 10 saves in an assfucking. Yay.

DEF:

Yikes. Assuming Kane misses out and Poch isn't doing a grade A troll job I'm going to be stuck with 4 at the back, yet again, and it doesn't look so great. Jones is set on auto start, nothing to see there.

My new best friend Lewis Dunk off the back of a tidy clean goes again for me in a wonderful fixture with the shit ass Saints rolling up to the Amex. Still fancy a goal for him is coming soon. Kill for this weekend.

SWard has a tidy fixture and looks a good bet for a clean against a team seemingly as toothless as Southampton in Rafa's boys. Go on lad.

Finally, and most shit, I have a 50/50 call between Naughton and Franno for the last spot. I've settled on Franno. I think he's a better chance for a 1 pointer than Naughton. They'll be insanely parked but Arsenal should rip them apart. Naughton feels a good card shout this game too, especially if he is forced to be deployed OOP on the left. At least Franno is home. Fuck me.

MID:

Salah stays. The Cout news is fucking shit because if Danny plays then Liverpool will probably struggle and be shit as they have generally been whenever Danny has played and he pushes Bob out wide. Anyway, I was gonna cap Salah, but now I am not going to do.

New double City friends Razzy and Dilva go. A bit concerned whether Raz will play or not, and it will depend on whether Pep wants him for this game or for the Napoli game. I don't think he'd be able to make both after 120 midweek. Hopefully he wants him for West Brom because FPL > but who knows. Woo.

Finally, I am again forced to start Dalebert Stephens lad. I told you it wasn't pretty. Hoping for a 3 pointer here, and I will be addressing Chalobah next week most likely with my two frees so I can stop being fucked here and permanently plant Dalembert on my bench where the boy belongs.

FWD:

Just two amigos up top with Harold's death. Jesus & Morata. Fingers crossed. Nothing more to do.

CAP:

Listen. I say a lot of fucking things. We have a pod, I talk, Alon talks, and I feel different things in different moments. That said, I'm rolling dice this weekend and sticking my cap on Jesus.

He's started every away League game so far and I think it's his turn at WBA based on recent team sheets. He could well be on the wing with Kun, which wouldn't be great but still fine, or he starts lone with Kun being rested for Napoli at home where he would have a nicer time of breaking the City scoring record at the Etihad instead of in the Midlands fucklands. Or...he is on the bench again. I don't know. I don't love it, and it doesn't feel fantastic, but I have 0 faith in Morata based on how he has looked since returning from injury and I don't want to cap Salah with the chance that Sturridge plays and they are shitty going forwards.

I gave a brief glance at Silva since at least we know he will feature for at least 70 but he doesn't explode and I want explosion potential in my cap. 

Huuuuuge captaincy diff and an admittedly huge punt as he fucked so many people last week and he's on the verge of double price dropping. It's not "smart" at all, and I wouldn't really feel comfortable advising others to cap him but it feels right for me right now with my team. Gonna go for it.

ALON

TRANSFERS

OUT: Everyone (wildcard)

IN: Everyone else (wildcard)

Wildcard strips years off of my life. It’s the constant tinkering, fighting the mad scientist punt merchant within me, and running circles of logic into the ground so deep that when they come out the other side I can’t remember how I got into’em in the first place. Fuck! And then the Kane news this morning waking up to that was just the opposite of morning wood. Morning fucking pain in my fucking ass. Rethink everything, rip up everything, all of this work is MEANINGLESS fit of rage and panic yada yada yada... That’s all before coffee...

After some good talks with Walsh, naturally, Scott, tempebug, duh, and Producer Nate, I calmed back down and settled with roughly the same 15 man team that I had prior to the Kane news, with Lacazette swapped in for Harold (and the money in the bank for a future swap back). I’ll go more into detail on the picks but for now here’s the full 15 man squad with the bench guys in parentheses:

 - de Gea, (Elliot)

 - Jones, Alderweireld, Daniels, Duffy/Dann rotation for fourth spot

 - Sané, Silva, Salah, Richarlison, (Loftus-Cheek)

 - Aguero, Lacazette, (Ayew)

GK:

Welcome to the team DDG and welcome to the end of Manchester United’s cleans/solid defense. I’m probably kiss of deathing him here but damn he’s good and United are cleaning everybody in the league at the moment. Fixture proof legend. If I was smart and good and somehow started the season w/ DDG over my run of fucking nightmare keepers I’d be hundreds of thousands of places higher then where I am currently ranked. So it feels pretty good to just get the guy in and never think twice about GK again.

Elliot as my backup is fine. I toyed with some Pereira lineups just to bank the money I’ve gained with Elliot and save money on GK spot since I’ll never in any world start Bob over DDG but having a starting guy is just safer and smarter. Say DDG gets suspended or hurt or I want to bench boost - those are huge differences if I have fodder vs. an actual starter in the squad.

DEF:

It all starts with Jones my fucking GW1 lover I’m so happy to still see your fucked up face in my team you fucking titter. Start every week don’t even think about it for one second.

I lost my balls and didn’t stick with my double Spurs defense that I shouted on the pod. Lineup Lambs panic center... At least I kept half of the Belgian national squad in with Toby though. I had Sanchez in there because I think he’s fucking awesome and he’s good on bones but the fact of the matter is Sanch is the odd man out if they switch to a back four for certain fixtures or due to injuries or whatever. Toby and Vert are the pillars of that team and I love their fixtures from a clean-sheet perspective. And their defense has just been outstanding all season.

New tinker in right this second as I’m panicking is long time friend of the pod Circus Charlie Daniels. I needed money to make my panic jilting move of Jesus to Kun so I sacrificed Vertonghen to get there. Chaz is great, attacking returns always on the docket, and their fixtures after Chelsea this week are fucking INSANE start every week levels: new, HUD, swa, BUR, SOT, cpl... Though this week I’ll start RLC over him most weeks it’ll be Circus in there.

Lastly Walsh has been pushing Brighton for a while now on the pod and look who comes through for him on his -8; it’s Dunk and Brighton. I love the shout and when Walsh is this headstrong on something for FPL I tend to believe it. It’s either the truest thing of FPL life or it’s going to be an actual train wreck nightmare. But I believe that it’s the former. Duffy is just slightly better then Dunk at everything - attacking, bonus, that kind of shit, so it’s worth the 0.1 for me on wildcard.

For rotation I went with Dann to backup my defenders. Brighton only have a few bad fixtures in the next WHILE and Palace lines up nicely with them. Dann nailed and always a shout for a goal in any fixture. Solid bench guy who rotates well with attacking potential is all that I need to know.

MID:

Salah hasn’t left in a long time and he will not do. While Mane gets injured and Phil gets injured and other guys are already injured and Pool’re losing to Spurs and everything feels bad in this moment - Salah is the ray of light. On a run of MoTM performances paired with good FPL returns and pens. Need I say more???

Went with Sané and Silva as my city double up. I have soooo much value tied up in Dilva it’s unreasonable at this juncture to ditch him for Raz or Sané or Kev or whatever. He’s fantastic and his stats are fucked up good and he’s nailed. That’s a hold... Sané over Sterling I just like the fact that since Pep/City have changed to a 4-3-3 and rolling teams over Sané has been nailed and been fucking INCREDIBLE. I think he’s ahead of Raz right now and a teeny bit more nailed on as he’s the only (arguable) natural winger in the entire squad. He’s just soooooo good fucking hell. Get the fuck in.

Richarlison was a tidy little transfer by me last week to fuck off Brady and get that done. He comes right in and returns me points and gains me value... Wow great friend of the pod Richarlison.

For my 4.5 du jour I’m going flair with RLC. He’s not nailed to that’s scary but I want to start this guy this week and bench Circus Charlie vs. Chelsea so RLC home to Hammers is actually good and I can see a return there. RLC is better then Tom Carroll at actually everything to do with football so hopefully WOY gets it right and puts him right into the starting 11.

FWD:

Harry fucking Kaaaaa---- errrrrrrrr. Alexandre fucking Lacazette!!!!!!! It doesn’t have the same DONGFEST ring to it but you know he isssss sexy you cannot deny this. It’s funny he plays 90′ first week of the season and hardly comes close since. Weird. My talk with Producer Nate resident Arsenal specialist made me feel a little bit better about him though even in the tough fixtures with City and Spurs coming up. Maybe Wenger has just been protecting him / building him up for the big ones. There should at least be some space and shit in those. Let’s see what happens. Start me off right Laca plzzzzzzzzz!!!!!

I just jilted Gab Jesus at the Lineup Lambs altar. Fuck it. The 4-3-3 is in for City and to me that means Jesus spells Kun and not the other way around. Even though for this week Gab is probably a better shout with Kun off of 120′ midweek, I think that long term Kun is going to be the guy and maybe be a captain shout where Gab usually really is not... So Kun is in. All hail. Let’s go. It’ll be fun / funny to see this crash and burn with the inevitable benching and Jesus haul this gameweek. Whatever. Life sucks.

For the bench I didn’t want to go with fodder here with City rotation risks and as we talked about on pod having a good bench going towards the fixture pileup is always handy. I got Ayew - cheapest nailed human - who’s actually been playing kinda well as far as FPL returns go lately. He hasn’t missed a minute this season (actual) so just get in brother of Andre and do the thing. Cometh the hour.

CAP:

Laca. It’s time. The three amigos up top for Arsecast are real and home to a battered Swansea maybe they can put 5+ in the back of the net again. Bad fixtures coming up but at least City and Spurs will play football and not park a bus, might be sleeper ok for Laca in those (shoutout Nate). Tit me Wenger. Tit me.